Self Nurture
Part 1 - Honouring Yourself
One of our biggest challenges in meditation, as well as in life, is to eliminate negative self appraisal. Of course we still must have discernment and rational self evaluation, what we are talking about are habits of negative thinking so ingrained that most people are not even aware of them -the mind chatter that can keep us from hearing our heart’s voice.
When you treat yourself with honor and respect, you will be surprised at how quickly others in your life will follow your example! It is not wrong or self centered to treat yourself with a high level respect. By doing so, you free others to honor themselves. It is truly selfless when it comes from an inner strength and confidence. This is the goal of all personal development work and transformational counseling.
Here are some ideas for honouring yourself, which you can slowly bring into your life:
Create strong boundaries with people in your life. When people do or say things that appear unsupportive to you, firstly explain to them, with the utmost kindness and compassion, how you feel. If they persist, remind them again and let them know if it continues, you will leave the room or situation, if they still persist, politely, but firmly leave. Rather then give away your inner strength and energy with anger, remember to always give back better then you get. When we take the space and time to look at what happens in our life, we will begin to discern when it is a mirror of something we need to look at and improve in ourselves. Then we will understand that all challenges are simply opportunities and are our greatest teachers.
Respect yourself. Ask yourself this question. What do I need to clean up in my life, to feel really good about myself? -Start the process today. Maybe its small things, like organizing your closet, or larger things, like finding a form of exercise that works for you or remembering to take that 5, or 15, or 30 minutes a day to go inside with meditation. It is important to accept that you are an evolving person, perfect exactly as you are and give yourself credit for everything you do that moves you in a positive direction. This process will start you toward the habit of inspired thought that will transform your life.
Go inside and listen to yourself. Start by noticing how you feel. For example, when you identify a feeling, attempt to track your most recent thought. Our thoughts create our feelings and, by extension, our world around us. If the thought/feeling is negative, replace the negative thought with a positive. Notice how you feel better. Check in with your body. Start by noticing how various parts of your body feel. Negative thoughts and emotions cause stress hormones to be released which are hard on our immune system. Where as positive thoughts, emotions and actions create endorphins and serotonins to be flooded into our bodies – a great natural anti-depressant! Your body will tell you exactly how to move it around, what to feed it, what to do, etc., for it to function effectively. But first you have to take the time to go within, to get to know it, and then to continue to check in with it, on a regular basis. A simple meditation is a great way to begin.
Commit to live fully with joy, wherever you are. Depression, anxiety, addiction, illness or tiredness all these are unnatural states. One of the secrets to joyous living is to fully enjoy life. If you notice that your life is full of things that give you little pleasure, do less of those and more of the things that do pleasure you. Yes, you may disappoint people initially, but your life will change in wonderful ways as you begin to access you authentic self. You also give everyone around you the gift of freedom to find, respect and honour their true selves. Be gentle with yourself. You are a kind loving being, a true gift to the world and you deserve compassion and love from yourself and a life filled with Joy!
Patricia Coleman